Thursday, October 16, 2014

I Refuse To Be Insulted!



The greatest insult to me, one that I can never forgive or forget, is choosing/judging me based on how pretty I am, who my parents are and my grandfather. It's beyond insulting to forget who I am as a person and just focusing on things related to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of my mother, father and grandfather. They deserve your and my respect for the things they have done. They made a name for themselves with actions rather than words. But their story is not my story, unless you're praising the way they raised me. And my face? I haven't chosen it.

I am a well educated girl, a sum of the things I have learned and reports I have collected. I have a BSc in Genetics and an IB diploma. I completed the IGCSE. I have every report since KG and every certificate for every extracurricular activity I have done. My looks, parents and grandfather didn't do it for me.

I am the sum of the experiences I've been through, whether it was a success or a fail. I volunteered in Oman and abroad. I joined a 6 week volunteering internship in Norway that I am really proud of. I got a first place award in shooting. I was a student representative, a peer mentor and a student ambassador. I helped plan events. I travelled to a few countries and visited a lot of museums. I studied abroad, lived alone for 4 years.

I am the sum of the books I have read, the books I collected over the years. I am in the award I got for borrowing and reading the most number of books in elementary. I am the sum of the things I wrote and the things I have attempted to write.

I am the little child in me that loves disney and fairy tales. I am a believer of unicorns and a dreamer of a utopic lala land. I am the lover of colours, glitter and shiny things.

I am me, I have my own story to tell, so please don't insult me!

Monday, October 13, 2014

Dear 26

Dear 26,

I'm writing to you because I find comfort in the idea of being 26. I have faith that by the time I reach you I would have figured out things of importance during my 20's and probably settled with a job I enjoy. And most importantly a mind at peace. 

It's 11:46 pm while writing this and I find myself in a state of confusion and losing hope on the things I want to achieve. I have read a total of 25 books since the last day of exams and I find myself avoiding the present situation by burying myslef in a book, hiding from reality. I haven't bothered searching for a job yet and haven't been doing much about university applications. I'll regret this if I don't start moving.

I find myself avoiding going out. Avoiding people. Finding comfort at home. Away from people who will start asking about my plans now that I have graduated. To tell you the truth, I'm worried. I'm worried I'll lose hope, lose interest and lose myself during this year. 

I have things planned out, from now till I reach you, but by now I'm convinced plans never work out. 

Yet I still can't help making plans.

Yours truly,
22

Thursday, October 02, 2014

Just Read



Read. Read as much as you can. Read while waiting in a queue or on your way to work. Do it in your lunch break and before you go to sleep. Read when you're happy and even more when you're sad. Read when you're confused and when you're determined. Read, because in those pages you'll find comfort. Read, because in those words you'll find an answer. Read, because in the smell of the papers you'll find inspiration. Read with your 5 senses and the 6th you don't yet know about. Trust me, just read!

Monday, September 22, 2014

If I Was A Watch Part

Found here

If people were watch parts we'll have 4 different types of people. We will have the battery, the second arm, the minute arm and the hour arm.

The Battery:

The people that want to make sure things work out. They try their best to make everyone else work (the second, minute and hour arms). If they decide to stop working, everything else stops. They're important, they're determined, they know what they have to do. They lead and everything else follows.

The Second Arm:

If you were in a working environment think of those as the managers. They do their share of leading, they want to make a change and they help in making the change. They move quickly and make sure the rest do the same. Seconds don't wait for other people, they run, they run fast and by running they make the rest move whether they like it or not. Only problem is, the second arm can't move without the battery working.

The Minute Arm:

Those are the people that do their job because they have to. They move because they have to move because sometimes that's the only thing they can do. Their movement is needed by the battery and the second arm to make sure everything works out the way it should. Only problem is, the minute arm can't move without the battery and the second arm working.

The Hour Arm:

People that don't move unless everything else moves. It's part of the bigger picture. It's the person that we all get annoyed of because he/she does nothing useful most of the time but once in every 60 minutes it moves and when it moves it's a big change. The hour arm is VERY dependent on the battery, second arm and minute arm.


When I thought of writing this post I had in mind that I was a battery, but after writing out what each part is I realised I'm not a battery but I wish I was. I'm more of the second arm, I can do everything like the battery does and maybe better but I need the battery. That's my only problem. I am currently in a situation that I ask for help from a minute arm in my life to ask the battery to work as best as it could. While all this is happening, I'm running, wanting to make sure everything is moving. I'm depending on the minute arm and the battery and I hate depending on other parts, I'd rather other parts depend on me. I want everything to move because I'm waiting for the hour arm to move and it can't move if everyone else is slacking. I'm waiting for the 60 minutes to pass so that for once everything moves.

If you were a watch part, what would you be?

Monday, September 15, 2014

Oh, iron!

Looks like something from Dr Mario

I admit I'm not one with a balanced diet, I tend to skip meals and I'm definitely underweight. I don't do it because I think it's cool or anything, it just happens that I get full quickly. I came up with what I think is a logical explanation for getting full quickly, I don't chew my food enough. Life is too short to chew each bite an average of 14 times. I chew each bite 3 times and just swallow everything in my mouth, which comes to the reason why I hate eating beef, goat or lamb meat. This in turn brings us to the point of this post, my iron deficiency.

A couple of weeks ago I went to one of the health centres to get a premarital test done. Being the responsible genetics graduate, I find it really important to do a premarital test and keep the results with you even if you're not planning to get married anytime soon. I went back for my results and the premarital test came back negative alhamdulillah but they pointed out that my haemoglobin level is low at 10.8. They gave me some iron pills to take for 2 months and asked me to see a nutritionist. The nutritionist suggested some iron-rich food to eat and asked me not to have caffeine as that effects iron absorption. Now here is the problem, my diet has so little iron in it and so much caffeine in comparison. I have a chicken leg during lunch and I sometimes don't finish it. I try to have salad but I'm sure the amount I eat is not enough.

The whole results thing required a change in my diet. Its been more than a week since I had coffee and my dad got me a juicer instead. I'm trying to fit in more animal iron in my diet and more vegetables It's going well so far until I started having green tea because I missed having a hot drink in the morning, all is good will replace it with peppermint tea.

I'm not sure how this will end but I'm liking this change so far. It's always fun to take iron pills my hair looks and feels so much healthier when I take them :P

Friday, September 05, 2014

Just Sad

Let me tell you how it looks before I tell you how it feels, it’s a sticky and gooey and is usually sleeping, it looks something like flubber that movie Robin Wiliams acted in. Now let me tell you how it feels. It usually resides inside all of us; in my case it lives a bit bellow my belly and it always starts there. It starts with news you hope you never receive, and it feels like someone punches you right where flubber lives and it wakes it up. It shoots up and sticks to your stomach. It’s sticky, so you could imagine what it might do there. You lose your appetite and you could feel the space inside your stomach shrinking. Flubber eventually gets bored of the stomach after sucking the air out of it and so it slides up your esophagus and the more it slides up the tighter it gets. You slowly feel less air entering your body until it reaches the larynx and it stays there, stuck. It won’t go away anytime soon. You can breathe, but you can’t breathe well. You can eat but not enough. You can do everything just not well enough.


I’ll just cry it off today.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

4 Years Later




It’s funny how time passes quickly but when living it we complain about how slow it is. I still haven’t processed the idea of completing four years in the UK, graduating and coming back home. It didn’t sink in yet. For all my brain knows I’m on my summer holiday and I’ll be flying back to Leeds in a month. 

Leeds has been a home away from home. Every step, every corner, every cup of coffee. Every pound spent in Waterstones, Boots and Tesco. Every journey from the train station; to Manchester, London, Cardiff, Birmingham, Buckingham, Edinburgh, York, Newcastle, Durham. Oh how much I’ll miss afternoon tea. Every assignment I have submitted, every exam I sat, every trip to the library, to the cluster, to the lab, to the union. I had days where I knew exactly why I was there, I was sure of the course I have chosen and understood my lectures. But I also had days when I was completely confused, didn’t know what I was doing and wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing. I failed a module, passed others on the edge and did extremely well in others. Years passed. I knew the path I enjoyed the most in my field and currently deciding on what to do next. Studying abroad is a journey on itself that I’m glad I was given the chance to take. But I still don’t know myself well.

I graduated, not as good as I hoped but I made it till the end. I did extremely well in my dissertation and I’m relieved that acknowledging myself at the end of it wasn’t an embarrassment. I’ll miss my friends, they’ve been a big part of all of this but I’m sure I’ll stay in touch with them. It’s not easy to forget people you have lived with for 4 years. 


I’m not sure what’s going to happen next but for now I’ll enjoy reading books till further notice.