Dear 26

5th of October 2017, 7:45 am

Dear 26,

I lost the connection with you like I lost the connection with myself. It's confusing, the me myself and I, the past self and future self, the me in alternate universes. It seems like there are so many versions of myself and I'm not really sure which one I belong to. A strange feeling of disembodiment from this "self".

I constantly feel like I have lost myself in the past year. Today I found myself. It felt like someone zoomed me out from this current self to see what I'm doing from afar. I saw as I typically woke up before my alarm, how I arrived at my destination when I was supposed to leave. I saw how I automatically walked into a Nero and ordered a white mocha to sweeten my day, as if I never stopped, as if I was working on pilot mode. And then I saw as I enjoyed people watching at the station, all in a rush to get to their trains, checking watches, fixing ties and hair. I saw as I took out a notebook and a pen to document my thoughts, realising today I woke up with a purpose. It felt good. I felt reconnected.

Next time you lose yourself go back to where you last remember seeing it. You'll most probably find yourself there.

I'm lost again