I find myself around 3 times a week at the gym trying to focus on completing my workout and giving my brain a break from over thinking. I succeed in not thinking for around an hour but once I step out of that gym I'm back at it. It felt like September was a workout for my brain.
If I figured out anything this past month is that journaling has been helping me keep my thoughts together, helps in containing that chaos of thoughts. I stopped journaling for a month and when I finally came back to it it felt like I was able to come out with a conclusion no matter how insignifcant and it felt good. One day I realised that stepping out of my comfort zone was my way of taking matters into my own hands. Another day helped me understand that my sudden interest in watching TV shows (which I spent little time on in the past) has been keeping me away from reading and writing because it doesn't require a lot of thinking. And the most recent journal entry made me realise that the reason I'm scared of change is that I'm worried I'll lose myself only to later realise that me, as I am today, never existed before. Those reflections, although inconsistent, help me understand myself more and that's always a good thing.
September smiled at me in the end, giving me hope for a better October.
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