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Friday, April 14, 2017

Dear 26

Dear 26,

Do you remember 18? I hated her. She reminds me of everything I don't want to be. She was weak, fragile and very self-conscious. I'm sure she had some good traits, but only the negative ones seem to have stuck with her. Maybe it's my fault, but still, she's a reminder of what not to be. I wish I could go back and shake her a little bit. Force her to ask for help when she needs it. Remind her to be confident.

Remember when she broke down in front of the door to our room? How she thought it's the end of the world that she didn't meet her predicted grades? Remember how dramatic she was thinking she'll never go to university. I'm not sure what went in her head I just remember the crying. I hate how she and I allowed the self-consciousness to continue till today. How we continue the bad habit of continuously doubting ourselves and abilities.

It's never too late to change, don't be like her. Or like me. Always aim to be better than every past self. Continue keeping us a reminder of what not to be. No matter how depressing the current situation is, I still have high hopes that things will sort out by the time we get to you. Sure, it took longer than I expected, but whatever, as I said, some things take time to brew and I'll just let it be.

I'm waiting for the day I understand the reason behind everything.