One of the worst things that I happen to go through a lot is standing in front of an emotionally hurt person yet not being able to lift their head up tell them everything will be alright and maybe hug them too. You are not able to tell them everything will be alright because you yourself don’t believe it’ll get any better. Sometimes you think a hug or staying with a person and listening to them complain will make them feel better but really the other person wants something in return. Something to make them feel better, maybe answers to the many questions racing through their minds. Yet you sit there like a statue not knowing what to do. You feel useless not being able to make the person smile or for a second forget what they are going through.
One day you’re close to them. You talk, laugh, joke around go crazy and other days that person is just like a stranger. The person distances him/herself from you, I think we call that ignoring. During these days, you wonder what the hell you did this time. Did you say something? Do something? And then you get an idea of why that person is ignoring. You couldn’t help them! Now they are looking for someone else who might be able to give them answers to their questions. Something you couldn’t do. Yes they are ignoring you because you didn’t say anything OR do anything to make them smile.
So you start this thing. You try making people feel better; make them smile only to cover over that gap you have. You know the one caused by not being able to make that one person feel better.
I guess I was that kind of person who goes away from people if they can't help me. Very bad habit it was.
ReplyDeleteI never knew how much it could hurt someone because I was feeling so down that all I thought about was myself. I needed lots of time to think about it and about everything that came with it. Ended up going to therapy to try and speed up the process of healing. It did work, kind of.
The hardest thing is to work on yourself. Especially when you are down, since you can't think straight and all you can think about is the problem itself. I think the solution for it is to try to be there for that person even if you feel helpless. (as stupid as that sounds)
Believe it or not, sometimes they appreciate it and then they start listening to you and from there YOU can advice them on what to do and they must have the WILL to get better. Not just stay down on the ground feeling depressed.
The thing is I don't know how to deal with their problem. Its something I've never been through and I can't think of anything to make them feel better. So yeah I just sit there listen to them but they have that look that they really want an answer not just someone listening to them. It hurts when they distance themselves cause I have no idea how to bring them back.
ReplyDeleteWell, I think it depends on the problem... You could try and search for how people dealt with certain issues online or ask someone you trust. You may then have an idea on how to help them. Hope it all goes well for you.
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot Squinty : )
ReplyDelete